Dear Friend. Please Understand the Following

Dear Friend,

You need to understand a few things about your nation, which you may not have noticed. In call cases, when I say 'we', I generally mean 'everyone in the world not living in your country,' okay? Thanks. Okay, here's the list:

1. We view you as a war-monging nation of gun-toting freaks
2. led by a monkey
3. who may or may not be suffering from a degenerative mental condition
4. and has a problem choosing the best man for the job.
5. We're stunned that this isn't obvious to you as well.
   
6. We are concerned by your lack of attention to your economic situation
7. and inability to provide all your own oil
8. or natural gas
9. or lumber.
10. We know you 'got' Saddam
11. however, we know you did it the wrong way
12. and we are concerned that you think the end justifies the means.
13. We respect your soldiers
14. despite the Nuremburg defense being invalid
15. and while absolving your soldiers from blame feel comfortable hating your belligerent invasions
    
16. because we formed a League of Nations to prevent just that.
17. We are concerned at the rate at which your personal freedom is eroded
    
18. despite your famous slogan
19. and we hate that our country osmoses all of your worst laws.
    

Once you understand, it will make everything better.

Thank you for your consideration. If you don't like it, we can always agree to disagree, and we'll just raise the prices on wood, power, oil, gas and water until we can come to an agreement.